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After Christmas thoughts

December 27th, 2007 at 04:58 pm

Happy after Christmas everyone. Yesterday we returned a few items my kids got from the other relatives......those of my ex's.
I did not think it was too crowded out there. I bought some wrapping paper and that was it, about three rolls. I really needed some gift bags...but none were cheap enough. I will buy some red ones on sale after Valentines' Day.
My ex bought my two little girls cell phones. I was not too happy. I think it was a silly present for girls so young. Oh well....can't compete.

I returned the top my mom got me and of course without a receipt I got the low ball price. The jacket I got is too big...really really big and I have no energy to search every store in the world to see who can claim it. So I will wear it around the house to keep warm. I wish she would leave receipts on the items. Better yet I wish she would not buy me clothes that are HUGE. I just don't get it. When someone loses about 110 pounds....their sizes change. I don't get it....I never will understand what she is up to.

My kids got a calendar someone in my ex's family made with photos of everyone. I glanced thru it and it was WAY TOO PAINFUL!!! BIG mistake. Of course there were photos of my ex and his new wife at their wedding and them hugging on every other page. Plus my ex's family hugging her. I am really praying my kids take the calendars back to dad's house. It is certainly not a thing I would like to stare at for 365 days this year. And no I am not going to play nice and forgiving.....I will never acknowledge her or my ex or play nice ex wife. Sorry.
I am able to maintain a level of "no comment" with my kids but I will not embrace any of their shananigans.

I have a small stack of cash and checks from rebates, work bonuses and owed money for my savings account to go to the bank. I am trying like the dickens to not use it! I figure if it goes bye bye I will not spend it. I am looking at a tax bill that is due in two weeks for $2000. I am not looking forward to that.

I am looking foreward to being frugal all over again in 2008....! I already started with cutting my own hair! I took alot off and I love it! My oldest daugher yelled at me saying I was way too cheap. I just don't care! I am slowly learning to do things my way and ignore the comments of disdain.

The kids are with dad this weekend....so I can take some Holiday decorations down, turn the heat down low and eat cheaply! I think my son will be here as he will not go to see dad anymore. I hope he goes but I usually stay out of it.

I also will cash in my penny jar. Last year I had 600 pennies. I hope to have more this year. We are planning on having taco bell with it. A new one just opened in our town....so we are going to have a treat.

Enjoy the rest of the week everyone.

4 Responses to “After Christmas thoughts”

  1. nance Says:
    1198776206

    I was prepared to dislike my ex's new wife, with whom he had an affair while married to me, but found I actually like her. I feel sorry for her, because she has to put up with the ex's temper and self-centered behavior. I also learned that she did not know that he was married to me, while the affair was going on. He is an accomplished liar, and she believed he was divorced. She lived in another town, and he traveled a lot for his job.
    I am grateful to her for removing him from my life. I'm now married to a great man.
    It is a lot easier on the children, if you "bury the hatchet" (and not in his head)! It takes time, but it can be done.
    Don't even try to compete with his gift giving. The kids will figure out the situation sooner or later.
    Hang in there, things will get better.

  2. Ima saver Says:
    1198782702

    Congrats on the weight loss. I thought that was you, but your blog changed. My friend had the surgery 2 months before you did and she has lost 135. She only wants to lose 5 more pounds.

  3. Front Porch Mom Says:
    1198802531

    Yes my ex left me via an email. Nice huh? Yes he had an affair (he will never ever admit though). Yes I am glad she has him. Still not so easy after four kids,6 years dating and 18 yrs of being married.
    Time marks moments but it does not do a good job at healing in my opinion. Maybe it is different for those who date and get married after a spouse leaves them. Easier to move on with things. Unfortunantly I have never gone out on a date nor had anyone remotely ask me out. I won't say never but I am pretty sure it will never occur. That's a card I am pretty sure I have been dealt. As my mom says to everything..."life is not fair"---I will admit she is right at times. Life is not fair but I am OK and fine with that.

    Weight loss has been the glorious revenge of sorts.
    It has started my own life over again for me. I do not regret it. I feel better about me and feel healthy!

  4. nance Says:
    1198817529

    After you have been hurt, and your trust is violated, it is hard to imagine yourself letting yourself risk another relationship. However, the better you feel about yourself, the more attractive you will be to other people.
    When I divorced, I decided that I was not going to think about another relationship until my kids had graduated from high school. It is funny, but I met my future husband the weekend my youngest graduated. I had three kids in three years, so they all left the nest within a few years. I was not looking at being married again, I didn't know if I could ever trust another man. I just
    wanted to go out with someone and have a nice time once in a while, but first, I attended a ten week divorce seminar, where everyone was going through the same feelings of rejection, anger, trust issues. It helped to make some new friends who understood what it was like to have trust violated, and who were going through, or had gone through a divorce. I didn't meet my husband in the group, but I did meet him through a mutual acquaintance, who had gone through another seminar, and who held two annual holiday parties for single friends.
    Your pain is probably still too strong to deal with anything but taking care of your kids and yourself, but life will get better. And yes, I still dislike my ex, and have reason to hate him, because of what I later learned he did to one of my kids, but he is not worth putting the energy into. Hate has a way of eating away at one's soul, and the anger just eats away at you. Letting go is very hard, but it is healing. I am not a terribly religious person, but I decided to "let go and let God" and life has been much better.
    You'll get there. Just concentrate on yourself and your kids for now. You are doing something great for yourself with your weight loss, and you will just continue to feel better about yourself.

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