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Struggling with Tithing Guilt

August 27th, 2008 at 12:28 am

Hello everyone. I have not tithed to my church for about 5 months. I feel very guilty about it. I keep telling myself I need the money. Every Sunday at church I feel badly and do nothing. I have tithed off my child support, spousal support and my own paycheck from working part time in the past. I am looking for advice. Should I go back and make up the difference...start fresh...only do my paycheck and spousal and not child support???? I am utterly confused. I feel guilty and very badly. I am not sure what to do. Any advice would be wonderful. Oh to clarify. I stopped tithing when money got tight and also we are at new church and I was nervous to give before I felt Ok about the church. I like the church and we are going to stay with this church.I keep wanting to ask the pastor but again I feel horrible and guilty. Maybe embarrased. HELP!

19 Responses to “Struggling with Tithing Guilt”

  1. mom-sense Says:
    1219797846


    I think that tithing is important - but maybe it isn't really giving 10% - I think it is important to support others - does your church have a food pantry you can donate to? Can you support a child thru Compassion ($30 a month)? Can you donate your time and talent? I spend a lot of time at school and we are one of the families receiving a discounted tuition (due to number of children and salary). Can you put in $10 a week? I think if one is still indulging in things like $5 coffee or gym memberships, there should be funds to donate. However, if you have scaled back as much as you can, I don't think that in the long run God will hold it against you. We give what we can, more when we have more. We have accepted gift certificates from our parish at Christmas once so our kids could have Christmas. They have taken care of us. Do what you can, and be peaceful about it.

  2. campfrugal Says:
    1219798355

    I tithe when I can. Our church also offers bagels, coffee and juice after the church services which supports the youth ministry. We always get bagels and coffee afterwards knowing that that money is going towards a church ministry. I also try to do what I can by donating my time, canned goods for charities that the church sponsors, gloves and hats for those in need on the church Christmas Tree, etc.. I look for those items on sale throughout the year. I believe that God wants us to be good stewards and although the bible says 10%, I believe, beyond a doubt, that God knows what is in our hearts. Just live a good Christian life and ask God for guidance.

  3. disneysteve Says:
    1219802153

    I say give what you are comfortable giving. That might be 10%. It might be 5%. It might be 1%. It might be volunteering your time and services rather than cash.

  4. greengirl Says:
    1219803563

    if you can't afford it, or have debt to pay off, i don't understand why you would feel guilty about it. i'm not religious so i guess this is from a different perspective, but you shouldn't be made to feel pressured into giving money if you need it for yourself first.

  5. daybyday Says:
    1219808410

    Here are 140 questions you can ask your pastor:

    Text is http://www.tithing-russkelly.com/id149.html and Link is
    http://www.tithing-russkelly.com/id149.html

  6. kimiko Says:
    1219819821

    I realize my religion isn't the same as your, but I do think most religions have similar principles to live by. So here's the teaching from mine, through story.

    There was a poor man with a sick mother, living in abject poverty. He forgo meals and managed to scrap together something to donate to the religious leader. The leader refused to accept, saying that while his intention is most appreciated, charity begins at home. And that means taking care of himself and his family first.

    So my opinion is that you help those you can, and if that means only yourself and family, then that's enough.

    Oh yeah, that also includes taking care of debts before begins giving. Borrowing and/or defaulting on one to give to another is a great sin. If it's not your wealth to give, you can't give.

  7. Russell Earl Kelly, PHD Says:
    1219836901

    You have no reason to be on a guilt trip unless all of your bills are caught up and you are living on too high a standard.

    1 Timothy 5:8 adn 2 Cor 8:12014 should bce your guidelines, not the law. Jesus took that guiltg trip and curse awayk from tithign and th other 61

  8. Analise Says:
    1219872806

    I agree 100% with disneysteve, and kimico's story shows great wisdom.

    You should not feel guilty about not tithing right now. Someday, when you are better off financially, you can contribute more $$. Right now, your children and your home are a priority, so focus on taking care of them first. You seem like a kind, responsible, and caring person, and this is probably why you are struggling with issue.

  9. Stephen Davis Says:
    1220070491

    The collecting of so called tithes is extortion. This comes from Isaiah 33:15. Leaders are to despise this kind of gain. To find out much more on this topic, read my works on faithwriters.com.

  10. Stephen Davis Says:
    1220104926

    The NIV version of the bible calls this word in Isaiah 33...extortion. The King James calls it oppression. You have all the symptoms of an oppressed person. You do not need to be. You are to adorn your faith with good works. It can be with use of money but it can be with kindness, with hospitality, with care for husband and children. Don't fret the demands of errant preachers. Their day is done. They have reason to fear. The word of God is against them. Their fellowship revolves around the money and not the Bread of Life who is Christ. This is what the tithe is..........bread.

  11. Elisha Kalel Says:
    1228946523

    Even if you start just now and dont worry about trying to backpay, ask God to forgiveyou and start fresh, you MUST pay your tithes. Tithing is Holy unto the Lord and he actually commands that we pay our tithes, if y ou read your Bible you will find many many refrences to paying tithes. Money is given to us from God in the first place, and all he asks is ten percent of all your increase, this means all the money that comes into your home. Believe me that God will take that other 90 percent and multiply it and you will be truely blessed.

  12. D Robert Dunn Says:
    1238679623

    Dear Miss Sunshine,

    I hope that by now you have come to realize that there is no Bibilical basis for tithing. We should give to support ministry and the building of the Kingdom, but not through adhering to the Mosaic Law. Read what Paul says in Galatians about going back under the Law. And even if tithing existed for us today, it would be on the produce of the ground, on flocks, and on herds. Even as Jesus spoke about the tithe, it was in reference to herbs and spices. Be free in Christ! Give, but without compulsion and give what you decide in your heart to give.

  13. Loyal Tither Says:
    1241403339

    I've have tithed to my bishop for 6 months. God has helped my health, and I now have more money at the end of the month than I did before when I was not on the tithe. Numbers 18 makes it clear that we are to give 10 percent of everything we make to the priests and bishops, those who provide us with spiritual nurishment. Numbers 18 also makes plain that God desires only the best for those that serve him, thus bishops and priests usually drive the best cars and wear only the best clothes.

  14. Chris Says:
    1276492354

    To those self-rightous and pompous tithers please remember that Jesus said that those who boast about their 'tithing' end up going to HELL! (Luke 18:9-14) This is because you do not know faith is if you believe your tithing (which is about obeying the Law... Mat 23:23 and Heb 7:5) is important. Gal 3:12 says the Law is not of Faith....and Rom 14:23 says that what is not of faith is SIN!

    in Christ by his grace
    Chris

  15. Mark Says:
    1295973876

    I have been doing research on the subject of tithing and have been very surpirised by the results. tithing is part of the mosiac law and does not apply in the New Covenant. It can also be hindering you from recieving gods blessings of you reap what you sow, where as you give the tithing and very little in offerings. People like to explain new covenant tithing with abraham giving a tithe to Melchizedek. If you read the whole story, Abraham gives 10 percent to Melchizedek & 90 percent to the king of Sodom, because he did not want to be accused of being made rich by this plunder so he kept no of it. What Abraham give was not his but someone elses property,and it was 1 time tithe.

  16. D Robert Dunn Says:
    1295983435

    Mark,

    The Spirit leads us in truth and for those of us who study the word, the truth is there. I hope others find freedom from the work of modern-day Judaisers--those who try to put Believers back under the Law of Moses. Paul had some choice words for them whether that law be about tithing or circumcision. We should be like the Bereans, studying the word daily to see if these things are true.

  17. Mark Says:
    1296064299

    Galatians 5:4
    You have become estranged from Christ, you who attempt to be justified by law; you have fallen from grace.

    Is falling from grace the result of using tithing or any other old covenant laws.



  18. D Robert Dunn Says:
    1296066607

    Good verse! As Paul says, those who rely on the law for justification HAVE fallen from Grace. The cross is of no value to them. Of course, the ones who want to push the law--tithing or any other--would argue that obedience to the Law is no longer for salvation or justification because no man can be saved that way. Rather, it's a matter of pleasing God and being obedient to His word. And they say this as they wear cotton/poyester clothing and munch on a ham sandwhich. In short, Legalistic Christians pick and choose which laws they want to promote for their own purposes: The Ten Commandments, tithing, anti-gay, and women teachers (in some churches) and then they toss out the other 700+ that they don't like. BTW, I hope you realize we're on the same side of this (relatively speaking). I appreciated your comments!

  19. Mark Says:
    1296067567

    Only 8 people in the whole world survived the Genesis flood, after Noah preached for 120 years. Can this happen again, if we continue to confuse old covenant laws with the new covenant? Your replies have been helpful in my understanding of the subject. Will the Church ministries lack of faith in spirit led giving cause several people to not be saved?

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