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Still Trying

February 14th, 2009 at 01:39 am

Greetings! Yes I am still trying to blog. I am not doing very well at it.
It has been a cash draining month for some reason. Yet I got my VISA bill and the statement showed so much less. I guess because I have been trying to simply pay cash for so much more. I guess I am doing that with some success.
Lately I have been teetered with the thought of quiting my job and just staying home. Part of me says of the small amount I get I could stay home and cut more corners. On the other hand there is very little expense in working.....no childcare issues, I wear a uniform, I work one mile from my house and I have the perfect hours. Where it gets hard is the sumemr....my girls are home and they seem to need me. Those three months are so SO hard on me. I thought about asking to have one extra day off.....I am off on Thursdays.....maybe Weds I am off. Not sure. I bring in about $600 a month after taxes. When I got divorced I had a budget that was used to figure spousal support that did not include things like dance expenses for TWO and other children costs. I get child support but as my kids grow I get less and less. I just can not figure it out. I also find that it is my only adult time of conversation so to speak. I have my co-workers who enjoy being around and I find alot of fun working and being around adults. I am torn---very torn. I find myself feeling guilty since so many are not working....I feel I shoud be grateful. My support will not last forever.....then I will have to dip into my savings to support myself and the kids. I have some serious thinking to do.

I am still waiting on my new floor. I got the tiles with my loews gift card. My friend Bill is doing the work. He is very slow in getting back to me. He has called to pencil me in then he does not show. I am now learning that I have to be more patient with friends I guess. My friend was supposed to check my furnance and he never showed up on my day off.....by then I had a fit. I did call him and he said he never got the apt in his book from the secetary. I got mad but re-scheulded with him. I hate to waste my day off waiting. I am sure I am not the first to have this happen to them!

I have been trying to not spend on me and only spend on the kids. So far so good. I have not gone out with friends or bought myself much. I did one splurge and bought season 2 of BIG LOVE from Amazon. I do not have HBO but got hooked when I bought season 1 last year to watch. I heard it was good and it is! I enjoy watching it since I do not go out and do not go to movies.

My daughter who is 12 bought me a canister set for Valentines Day. She made up a whole story to buy someting on line and then she gave me cash for it. They arrived today from Penney's I was pretty surprised. She seems to be the one who listens when I make comments when I admire something. I almost have to be careful! She is so sweet to think of me.
I sent my mom flowers and my dad called me to tell me they arrived on Thursday. I was bummed my mom did not even call me.... I don't get that at all.
I decided to send her flowers as so many of the little old ladies at my place of work do not have anyone to think of them.
I decided that was sad to not send your mom some flowers while they can enjoy them----maybe she will call or maybe she will not. I was glad my dad called....he seems to dote on me and the kids. He is all ready to take down my wallpaper after the floor goes in...he adores doing projects that I hate. My therapist had told me to nuture the dad relationship that my mom could be trickier to please or have a good relationship with....I think she was very right.

Work is going ok. They still think the housekeepers were stealing from the kitchen so we are banned from entering the kitchen area. Now they are feeling badly and have offerd us free food and leftovers. I refuse now to eat any of the food or go in the kitchen. I was so angry to be accused and felt very belittled. I told my co-workers I would never ever partake of anything "free" ever again. I rarely did anyway! My co-workers are also pretty hurt. We are pretty much eating our own lunches and snacks from home. I think the management has now seen that accusing us was the wrong way to go. Eveyrone eats freely when the rule was to apply to ALL workers. There are different standards and I resent that. I do not like managers who play the favorites game. It always backfires...and it has. They now charge if you want crackers or a packet of ketchup. It seems petty after years of a free for all.....I get really mad when the bosses are eating everything in site. I hate double standards.

Oh well---I am ready to run for office as I am so mad about the stimulus bill. Just cut taxes for about 1 year---give the little guys more money in their paychecks....I think that is all that is needed. I really have had a hard time listening to all the news about the stimulus ---too depressing. I feel terrible for all the folks out of work. If you are in that postion---do not give up. I just pray for our entire nation to find economic peace for all.

On a bright note...all the snow is melted on my driveway. YAHOO!
Stay frugal!

2 Responses to “Still Trying”

  1. homebody Says:

    I understand your dilemma, but in this economy, I think you should keep your job.

  2. Front Porch Mom Says:

    That is how I am leaning. I guess I am having alot of mom guilt and single parent guilt on top of that guilt.
    I have to also learn to take things one day at a time--it also seems every obstacle I face with my job a solution simply appears! I feel blessed with the options and some perks I listed that are a part of my job. Ok more good food for thought. Have a good weekend.

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